Who Wants to Be...?

My favourite of all the twistories I've written so far. Hope you enjoy it.

Sunday the 22nd of February 2009. That was the highlight of his life up until then. It was the night Slumdog Millionaire had taken home eight Oscars, including Best Picture and Best Director. JP had stayed up to watch the awards ceremony in full. Even though his mother told him to go to bed because he had school in the morning, he snuck down to watch it.

The first time the film's name was called out as an award winner he felt like screaming with joy. However, he knew he'd wake his mother and get in trouble, so JP stayed calm. But the tension built up inside him, like the anticipation of Santa a few years' previous. When Slumdog Millionaire was announced as Best Picture, he did scream, but quickly realised and clasped his mouth with both hands. Luckily his mother never stirred upstairs, and he went to bed unchastised and filled with glee.

His obsession with Slumdog Millionaire had started a few weeks earlier when he had went to the cinema with a few boys from his class. The other boys wanted to see some comedy film, but it was sold out. JP suggested Slumdog Millionaire as alternative. The other boys wanted to see some comedy film, but it was sold out. JP suggested Slumdog Millionaire as alternative. He was besotted. He went to see it twice more in the cinema. He watched a multitude of documentaries about it. One he particularly liked was called 'The Real Slumdog'. It had some subtitle which appealed to the charity or sympathy of some, but he could not remember it. He even went out and bought the book it was based on. Q&A by Vikas Swarup. He made sure to buy the movie tie-in edition. JP had never been one to read. He thought maybe this had been his first time ever inside a bookshop. All of this added to his love of the film. Some provided him with further insight, others merely added mystique. All his senses were provided for. He was hooked on Slumdog.

He even started telling people how the JP of his name stood for Jamal Patel. This was a juxtaposition of actor and character, but most people didn't realise. What they did realise and couldn't explain is why a white Catholic boy from Bangor, Northern Ireland had that name. The JP really stood for John Paul, after the late Pope John Paul II. Like most Northern Irish Catholics, JP's mother was extremely proud of her heritage. Thus she wasn't too pleased to hear her son bastardizing his name in such a way. But JP didn't complain for the Slumdog himself had faced more difficult obstacles.

The other kids at school were fascinated by JP's wild imagination. They encouraged him. They spurred him on. JP was only too happy to accept their challenges. He had begun to watch Who Wants to Be a Millionaire religiously. In his head, he would chastize Chris Tarrant for pronouncing the second "i", a letter totally absent from the film. He told the other kids about this too. They told him that he should try to get on the TV show. JP thought this was a magnificent idea, and was a bit disappointed that he had not thought of it before. So when the phone number appeared during the next episode, he noted it down. He didn't note down the age limit for the show. JP was still a few years off sixteen.

Each night after the television broadcast, he would call up the competition line and enter. Many of his entries would probably not be accepted. A lot of the time, in fact most of the time, he did not know the answer. He was asked all kinds of questions on various topics. "What is the county town of Kent?" "Who invented the telephone?" "What weapon is on the state flag of Kenya?" "Who was the third man on the Apollo 11 mission with Neil Armstrong and Edwin 'Buzz' Aldrin?" "What rugby player has the most points in Six Nations history?" "In the UK, what was Michael Jackson's first number one single?" There were lots more. Some were easy. The telephone one, he had learned that in school. He wasn't a rugby fan. He had never been to Kenya. He decided to redouble his efforts. It was simple really. The more entries he had, the more likely he was to be chosen. And to give himself even more of a chance, he really paid attention in school. Just in case he might pick up something that might come in useful. Nothing could stop him from getting on the TV show.


And then it came.

No, not a phone call from Chris Tarrant or anyone at Celador. The snap of the letterbox signalled its arrival. The phone bill. JP hadn't factored that into things. It was fourteen pages in length. It was usually four. JP's mother nearly fainted when she opened the bulky envelope. She was horrified. There were hundreds of calls to the same number. Most of them during the day, when it was more expensive.

JP's mother didn't know what to do. Although she had barely spoken to him in years, except vague "how do you do"s when he came to pick JP up, she rang his father. They would sit him down and do it together. As a team.

That Friday night, when school and working weeks were over, they summoned JP into the kitchen. He had not seen his parents in the same room since his confirmation. He hoped they were getting back together. That's why they called him in, he thought. He quickly realised that was not it. He was ordered to sit down. The investigation began. It was then he knew he really was the Slumdog.